One Saturday night in the mid-1990's while working at The Second City comedy theater in Chicago, I received a phone call that I was being activated as an understudy for a
children’s theater performance the next day.
Somebody in the cast of the production was sick and so my moment in the spotlight was beckoning. I was excited until I realized that the production involved dressing up as a pirate and I needed to provide my own pantyhose.
Apparently Captain Hook had an inner diva.
Pantyhose, really? I’m a guy which means I have an allergy to Haines and don’t know the first thing about choosing pantyhose.
But here I was after working the late shift at Second City, clumsily fumbling through the pantyhose aisle of a Walgreens at 3 am. I think my Man Card was suspended for the night.
Luckily, two women walked into the Walgreens and came to my aid: Rachel Dratch and Tina Fey. I shared in my book, "Holy Shift," about how at this time in her life, Tina Fey was not big into parties after late night performances at Second City. Her regular rituals included renting movies at the local Blockbuster Video and grabbing a snack at the Walgreens across the street.
This is how she and Dratch found me.
I wish I could say it was one of my finer moments in life but there’s no way to spin it: I was a young college dude looking pathetic buying women’s pantyhose.
Tina and Rachel must have thought I was nuts and easily could have assumed the worst about me and walked away. Instead they walked toward me. Instead of talking ABOUT me, they chose to talk WITH me.
It didn’t hurt that they recognized me from Second City, so they came over to ask what I was up to.
After I explained my predicament in a way that only professional theater people can understand, Tina took a few minutes to choose just the right color and size of pantyhose for me to dress up in as a pirate the next day.
Yes, it’s true: Tina Fey helped me pick out pantyhose.
Actually purchasing the pantyhose was embarrassing. There is just no cool way for a twenty-year-old dude at 3 am to slyly hand over a pink package of Haines Hosiery Thigh-Highs
and declare with security in their own manhood, “It’s just something for the little lady at home.”
Yes, I may have looked odd or even a bit creepy from the outside
looking in.
The cashier didn’t crack a smile once during the checkout
process, he just stared at me in judgment. And I can’t blame him
for assuming the worst about me.
But isn’t that how we all react when we encounter something out of the ordinary without all the information on the situation?
What if we chose to believe the best about the people we encounter?
What if we eclipsed our inner judge with a presumption of compassion?
At Life Church Saginaw, we are willing to try anything and do
anything short of sin to engage people who normally will not darken a church door.
Having a whatever it takes attitude to reaching people
far from God has led us on some wild adventures.
One idea that has gained traction and successfully reached families in our region each year is our annual Easter Egg Helicopter Drop.
We invite folks to our church campus, throw a free party (remember, Jesus loved a good party!), and after they realize we are normal and harmless, we invite them back the next day for Easter services.
We have heard story after story of people becoming Christ-followers as a direct result of our Egg Drop!
As you can imagine, when you throw 50,000 eggs out of a helicopter, the media takes notice. Flying plastic eggs play well for local news cameras.
One year our Egg Drop even caught the attention of
newspapers throughout Michigan and The Christian Post, a national online publication. People far from God loved our heart and passion for serving area families. However, the online comments sections were filled with venom and judgment . . .
from other Christians.
As I read the first few comments from self-professing Christians,
I felt like a hemophiliac in a razor factory. Instead of talking
TO us, brothers and sisters in Christ were talking
ABOUT us on a public forum with assumptions that were not true.
The statements made about our church’s motives by people outside our church who claimed to represent the one true Church made people who go to church look stupid.
Assuming the worst can lead to unnecessary black-eyes within the Body of Christ. Friendly-fire is preventable. God gave us one mouth and two ears for a reason. It is always wiser to listen more than we speak.
Labeling people in public forums is not a sign of maturity—it’s a
preschool mentality. If we are unable to gather all the facts, then
our default as Christ-followers needs to be believing the best about people, not assuming the worst.
We have a fantastic team of Interns at Life Church who are learning and growing in their leadership skills. Part of the program is that we are intentionally providing a safe environment to make mistakes in.
We learn when we try.
When an intern makes a mistake in our church, we always believe the best. We walk alongside them, tell them to take a deep breath, and then we ask, “You’re okay, you tried something new, now what did you learn from that experience?”
Believing the best can be a game changer in your life and your
leadership. Jumping to positive conclusions creates energy, trust,
and forward movement in any ensemble. Believing the best helps
eliminate gossip and unnecessary drama.
Believe the best about the people you are partnering with and watch how your leadership climate shifts toward a stronger ensemble!
[ Excerpt from the book, "Holy Shift," by Dr. Jonathan Herron ]