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2 QUESTIONS TO ASK IF YOUR CHURCH FEELS STUCK

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Churches get stuck all the time.
Too often we can find ourselves doing ministry out of memory.

For what it's worth, here are 2 Important Questions for Fearless Leaders to ask...

1) HAVE WE LOST OUR LOVE FOR LOST PEOPLE?

400 years ago Protestants fled England and came to the New World to set up churches... for themselves.  If your church is insider-focused, it's because of our Pilgrim heritage!

Ignite your passion for what ignites God's heart -- Remind your church that EVERY person matters!

If your church is reaching the lost, you WILL be a target from RELIGIOUS people!
Religious people were ALWAYS walking away and rejecting Jesus throughout His ministry.  If you are not receiving the same rejection as Jesus, then you may not be preaching the same gospel that Jesus preached!

Ask yourself: Am I a fisher of men or a keeper of an aquarium?

2) AM I LEADING WITH A RISING LEVEL OF HOPE?

Nothing great ever happens THROUGH YOU until it happens TO YOU!

Look at every great hero in the Scriptures:

  • Moses spent 40 years in the wilderness before ascending into leadership

  • David was living in a cave down by the river for a decade

  • Peter beat himself up after rejecting Jesus three times

God LOVES using BROKEN people to minister to BROKEN people!

The key is to not wallow in your brokenness.  Minister from the OVERFLOW of what the Lord is doing in your life and in your heart!  You cannot lead people to a place that you are not already at.

The most important thing I do as a leader: Making sure that I stay encouraged!
Ask yourself: 'What things CHARGE MY BATTERIES?'
If your internal batteries aren't charged up, you will fall into weariness.

DISCOURAGEMENT precedes DESTRUCTION:
The Enemy RUINS your FUTURE by first RUINING your DAY so that you will run toward destructive habits and choices!

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LEVERAGING LAUGHTER TO ECLIPSE LEADERS' FEARS

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The late Dr. Martin de Maat had a profound impact on my life (I wrote about that here).  He was not only my professor and mentor, he was a close friend (Martin was even one of my wedding groomsmen!).

Dr. de Maat taught me so much not only about improvisational-comedy, but more importantly about the joy of doing life together:

"What happens... in being with each other in acceptance and Yes And-ing each other, is that you as an individual start to believe in yourself because you begin to see yourself in the others' eyes.

Your ensemble, your group, your team, your committee, is the one that's believing in you and you pull it together to do it for them.

You know, it's simply recognizing you're not alone. It's love and unconditional acceptance.

You put yourself in a place of support, unconditional acceptance and love for who you are, the way you are and your uniqueness, and what you do is grow. You surround yourself with people who are truly interested in you and listen to you, and you will grow.

And it doesn't take much to start advancing you, it doesn't take much of that support, it doesn't take much of that love and that care and you can do it. You can play act with people. You can be in a state of play together."

This is how comedians create new material.
Yes And leads to trust leads to contagious unity leads to childlike creativity.
Its how leaders might lead teams in the 21st Century.

Don't settle for the loneliness of leadership isolation.
Dream of and strive for a team of church leaders who are accepting of one another's uniquenesses.  After all, we each bring different strengths to the table.

I love what Martin would say about the group dynamics of creating comedy through Yes And:

"There's a lot of laughter that goes on. Since we're laughing together, we're true community. It's a very safe place to confront your fears. The minute somebody says, 'Perform!' your fear comes up..."

As we Yes And, may we as leaders embrace contagious unity and laughter. 

By refusing to perform and instead choosing raw, authentic community, we may just lead at a higher, deeper, more spiritually-sensitive level than before...

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The Kind of Leader God is Looking For

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Great leaders lead with both knowledge and understanding. As a leader, always remember it’s your responsibility to lead and feed. More than ever, people are looking for someone to lead them with wisdom and understanding, and to feed them the things that will elevate their lives and their leadership. 

Here are 4 qualities that describe the type of shepherds God is calling leaders to be:

1) GOD’S LOOKING FOR SHEPHERDS THAT CARRY HIS HEART

  • God raises up people who have His heart. His heart is for others! God is all about loving and caring for people. This is the heart good shepherds lead with. 

  • How do you receive God’s heart? By surrendering to His presence. 

  • GOOD SHEPHERDS spend time in His presence and receive His heart. 

2) GOD’S LOOKING FOR SHEPHERDS THAT ARE FULL SO THEY CAN FEED

  • Shepherds are able to lead AND pour into people’s lives. A leader can’t pour into people what they don’t have. 

  • You can’t lead on empty; it is impossible to shepherd while all dried up. It is a leader’s responsibility to stay full. 

  • Don’t just love the idea of staying full, actually do it! Spend time in His presence and in His Word. So many people love the idea of pursuing Jesus, but staying full is about ACTION. 

  • GOOD SHEPHERDS make it a priority to stay full so they can pour into others.

3) GOD’S LOOKING FOR SHEPHERDS THAT KEEP THEIR HEART SHARP

  • Jeremiah 10:21 says this: “For the shepherds have become dull-hearted, and have not sought the Lord; therefore they shall not prosper, and all their flocks shall be scattered.”

  • If there’s an issue chopping the wood, it mostly comes down to a dull blade. Sometimes, the problem isn’t with the wood - it’s with the blade. 

  • This leads me to ask: If the shepherds have become dull-hearted, what is the status of the sheep? People will never surpass the leaders of their organization. 

  • GOOD SHEPHERDS don’t let their hearts grow dull. Good shepherds always have something FRESH to say.

4) GOD’S LOOKING FOR SHEPHERDS THAT WILL LOOK AFTER HIS PEOPLE

  • Don’t bother worrying about your platform or about how many eyes are watching you. God decides how much influence you will have. Stay focused on the people God has entrusted into your care!  

  • Be a shepherd whose main concern is the people they lead. Be a shepherd who is able to genuinely care about each member of the flock and bring value to each of their lives. 

  • GOOD SHEPHERDS more concerned about their flock than their personal influence.

Let’s remember these things as we lead people.

You're made to lead, and we need you! 

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What is the Root Cause of Church Splits?

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Nobody enjoys a car wreck, but we all inevitably slow down in traffic to peer out the window as we drive by, attempting to ascertain what happened and to (hopefully) learn something that will prevent such a tragedy from happening to us.

With over 20 years of full-time ministry under my belt (plus another 20+ as a pastor's kid), I've seen my share of ugly wrecks in church world.  I'm sure you've also heard the stories -- usually whispered around a kitchen table -- of a minor church disagreement erupting into a full-blown church split that affects lives and livelihoods, leaving a black eye on the local Body of Christ.

The stories of church splits are never fun.  Real people get hurt.  Reputations are slandered.  Hurt and heartache can echo for years due to unhealed wounds.  And nobody wins: not the church of origin nor the newly formed congregation that results from a church split.

Perhaps by looking at one church split story, we can all learn how to better guard our unity within the church that Christ bled for (Acts 20:28).

This story is my story.  You see, three years ago, I went through a church split as the lead pastor (and founding pastor) of a church I love dearly.  

I barely survived the trauma of what one of my counselor's diagnosed as a "mass casualty event" (Yes, I said counselors plural.  Even pastors need therapy to ensure they are emotionally-healthy.).

The first thing you should know about church splits is this: at the time of this church split, even though I was the Founding Pastor, I had no idea what was happening behind my back. 

My wife and I were not privy to the cruel whispers and private gossip sessions engulfing our staff team and then spilling out into the membership during the COVID lockdowns.  

Looking back, I wish there was some sort of ministry alarm that would go off and alert a lead pastor when he is in danger of facing a church split.  But, there isn't one.  You usually have no idea that a church split is happening under your nose until after it has already occurred and the damage has been done.

My wife and I were completely taken by surprise.  We were focused on the primary crisis of navigating COVID lockdowns and frantically fundraising for our staff team.  During a crisis when I was putting out fires from COVID, I would look behind me for a bucket of water to be handed up to me... only to realize there was nobody behind me helping.

During this insane season of the COVID crisis now layered with an internal insurrection, I thought and truly believed that a minor misunderstanding at the staff level could be easily resolved with one honest and simple 5 minute conversation (and I still believe that to this day!).  

Unfortunately, when you're the lead pastor and staff members try to hijack the church out from under you, behind-the-scenes conversations and condemnations move quickly behind the pastor's back and rumors can spread like wildfire on Facebook.

So, in the interest of helping church leaders who read this blog and sparing you from the immense pain and hurt and betrayal of a church split in the future, allow me to ask and answer the main question: What is the cause of church splits? 

In a word: factions. 

Factions arise when there is a pile-up of disgruntled people who build up a case that becomes a driving fantasy.

Factions are driven by the What If:

  • "What if my assumptions are correct?"

  • "What if the rumors I've heard are true?

  • "What if my pastor - the same guy who led me to Christ and baptized me - what if he is actually a rotten person?"


Factions sadly live their lives on something that has not actually happened.

Factions thrive on anger.  Why anger?

When someone is hurt or experiences pain in their life, the person will often seek to numb the inward pain with outward anger. 

Anger is always secondary to a deeper hurt.  Anger allows the brain to release key hormones that soothe and numb the pain.

When someone is driven by anger, they can become emotionally-flooded.  This makes peaceful resolution difficult.  Perhaps this is why the Apostle Paul wrote:

"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently."  (Galatians 6:1)


When angry people pile-up, you have a faction.  Factions are very manipulative and will often warp facts to fit their narrative.  Because anger arousal is high, it is difficult for the faction to parse facts from fiction.  

This is why the Scriptures warn believers against bitterness:

"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (Hebrews 12:15)


When factions form, conflict is inevitable.

The solution involves honest, gospel-centered conversation:

"Contrary to our instincts, hard conversations usually don't kill relationships.

They save them.

It's choosing the short, life-saving pain of surgery over the long-term, fatal pain of cancer."
(Josh Howerton)

 


Galatians 6:1 and Matthew 18:15-17 say to go to our brother.  


Ephesians 4:25-27 says to go without delay.

If a faction shuns/ghosts/refuses you, you can still forgive them.

Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is a choice.

You have the rightful choice to untether your heart from their hurt.



"You can forgive even if the person who wronged you is unrepentant.


You can repent even if the person you've wronged won't forgive you.


But there can be no reconciliation without repentance from the wrong and forgiveness from the wronged."


(Jared Wilson)

 

"Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace."
(Ephesians 4:3)

At the church I love, we have decided on three proactive approaches to head off the forming of any future factions.

For what it's worth, here is what we have learned from this heartbreaking experience:

1. We will always choose conversation over condemnation.

 

2. We will always seek to maintain the relationship over trying to win an argument.

 

3.  We will always speak with honesty, not hypocrisy.


And as always, I choose to remain open and ready to meet with anyone, anytime, anywhere with a humble heart and a listening ear.

 

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Leadership Means Being Misunderstood

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At some point, every leader will be misunderstood.

People will say things about you behind your back (or to your face) that aren’t true. People will judge your motives and get it wrong.

Sometimes you’ll only be allowed to say certain things in public, not because you’re being secretive, but because revealing all the information would make others look bad or would be breaking confidence. So instead, you look bad.

That’s just the territory of leadership.

Leadership is a bit like parenting. You have to do the right thing even if it’s not the popular thing.

I’ve been there many times as a leader (and as a parent).

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How to avoid church “splanting”

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WHAT IT IS: Church splanting is when a pastor plants a new church by splitting the mother church.

While many church plants are born out of a passionate call of God on a person’s life, on occasion a church plant has less noble beginnings.

In spite of Jesus’ Call for unity among His followers, at times the Church struggles to achieve it.

HOW IT HAPPENS: Anger & bitterness grow in the pastor’s heart at the circumstances in their church, and all of the sudden they develop a call to become a Church Planter.

Often motivated by frustration or hurt they declare “God is calling them to start a new church,” not in another town or state, but just down the street.

READ MORE: https://www.glichurchplanting.com/church-splanter/

Be More of a Blessing, Less of a Burden

The goal of a leader is to always be a blessing and never be a burden. There is nothing worse than a person that overstays their welcome at a home gathering. The same is true in leadership. We want to live our lives in such a way that adds greatness to people and circumstances around us instead of taking from them.

Here are three quick things to remember in order to be a blessing as a leader:

#1: NEVER BE OWNED BY ANYONE

  • To be owned by someone means that you owe them something. As leaders, our goal is not to be owned by our  relationships, finances, belongings etc. Rather it is the responsibility of a leader to steward their own lives so that we can be a blessing to others around us and not a burden. 

  • Money and people will try to own you so that you can serve them, but part of being a good steward means that we recognize that we are owned by God and serve Him only. 

#2: BE CAREFUL OF PEOPLE WHO COME INTO YOUR LIFE TOO FAST AND TOO LOUD

  • People who come into our lives too fast and too loud generally leave the same way they came in. In leadership, the tension is between divine appointments and people that we moved too quickly with. 

  • It can be easy to jump toward what’s flashy, but over time we see that the faithful and steady people around us usually end up being the ones that we need in our life. 

#3: GOD IS OUR SOURCE!

  • God is the ultimate source! We don’t ever have to worry about our needs or the needs of the church because God is committed to taking care of us.  

  • When we worry about our “lack” we are saying that God isn’t enough. Kingdom-minded people don’t see “lack” – they see what God is doing through the people placed in their lives. 

Let’s always remember that as leaders, it is our goal to be a blessing and not a burden. 

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